


Kiss Me Once in the Sunshine

by kath_ballantyne, wook77



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Cover Art, Digital Art, M/M, Multi, Slash, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-02
Updated: 2011-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-22 07:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/235451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kath_ballantyne/pseuds/kath_ballantyne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wook77/pseuds/wook77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of Anders's destruction of the Chantry and his subsequent death, Hawke is surprised to discover that Anders is alive and well in Amaranthine. There's no Justice and no manifesto. There is, however, the attraction and love he'd felt before Anders's manifesto and his relationship with Fenris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains fade to black sex scene. Many thanks to [ Kath_ballantyne](kathballantyne.livejournal.com/profile) who is rather amazing and did a fantastic job in a very short period of time. Also thanks to [**reddwarfer**](http://reddwarfer.livejournal.com/) for letting me babble at her many, many times as I fleshed out the fic. Title shamelessly stolen from a She Wants Revenge song.

It's been seven years but Anders still bears the grudge against the Warden-Commander. There are many things people have considered Anders and rational has never been one of them. Stubborn? Yes. Nonsensical? Yes. Ridiculous? Yes. Committed? Yes.

It's as he is petitioning the Warden-Commander for another kitten that the messenger arrives. The Warden-Commander doesn't even bother shooing him out of the room as he's handed the scroll, just lets Anders ramble along in his demands, clearly not paying attention. Which Anders promptly points out, much to the appalled dismay of the messenger. "So sorry, Ser High and Mighty Warden-Commander that my asking for recompense is such a boring subject. Someone here did away with Ser Pounce-a-Lot and – "

"Anders, there are more important matters, ones that have happened in the last few days. Perhaps even the last few months. No, wait, definitely within the last few years. It's been seven years. Get over it."

"Get over it?! He was my best friend! If I do not remember him, who will?"

"I think Nathaniel has the scars to remember your damnable cat for the rest of his life."

"He deserved them."

  
[](http://kath_ballantyne.livejournal.com)  


"No one deserves the gashes that Nathaniel received." The Warden-Commander glares at him over the scroll. "Now be a good boy and quiet down while I read."

"Yes, Master Warden Commander, Ser."

"Shut up." The Warden-Commander's voice goes serious and cold then he turns to the messenger. "How far out is he?"

"Is who?"

"I said shut up. I meant shut up."

"I'll leave then."

"You'll keep your ass in that seat and you'll keep your mouth shut for once in your life."

Anders has an angry retort on his lips, they actually open until he gets a good look at the expression on the Warden-Commander's face. They've faced a darkspawn horde, the Architect, a Brood Mother and more but Anders has never seen that level of fear on the Warden-Commander's face. His angry retort dies as he slumps back in the chair and lets the Warden-Commander do what he does best.

"How far out?"

"He'll be here on the morrow but he thought it best to inform you right away."

"Seal the Keep." At this, Anders raises an eyebrow, sitting up straight and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, Ser."

"Dismissed." The Warden-Commander stands and paces. "When was the last time you were in Kirkwall?"

"Kirkwall? Never. I'd intended to get there the last time I escaped from the Circle but then I heard it's even worse for mages. Plus, I joined this merry band of misfits."

"You've never lived in Kirkwall?"

"Never."

"Well, now you've died in Kirkwall." The Warden-Commander slams the scroll onto the desk and stalks out of the office, shouting orders as he goes.

"What? How? Huh?" Anders isn't at his most eloquent but he's never been dead before. Well, if the Orlesians are to be believed, he'd had plenty of _little deaths_ but that wasn't dead. As in dead. As in dead no longer breathing dead. He might be a vain prick but he likes living and there's no draw to shucking off his mortal coil. He likes it. It looks good on him.

Curiosity gets the better of him as he approaches the desk and sees a likeness of himself sketched onto a poster. "Well, there's no way that's me because I'm both still living and I would never be caught dead in black feathers." His brain catches up to what he'd just said as he snorts out loud. "Caught dead. Good one, Anders. Too bad Oghren wasn't there to hear that witticism. I'll have to remember it."

Reading the rest of the scroll, his mouth continues to drop open while his eyes widen. He'd supposedly blown up a Chantry. He'd started a war. Mages everywhere are rebelling. Kirkwall is burning and it appears that it's entirely his fault.

Except he'd been right here in Amaranthine the entire time.

  


  
Justice: I see that your feline companion remains with you.  
Anders: He seems happy enough. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?  
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)  
Justice: To enslave another creature does not seem just.  
Anders: He's not a slave! He's a friend. And he's also a cat.  
Justice: A cat that lacks freedom.  
Anders: Just ignore him, Ser Pouce-a-lot. They don't have pets in the Fade, apparently.  
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)    


"You miss him." Fenris's voice is low, slinking over Hawke's skin and warming him as he stares at the bookcase where Anders had hidden so many copies of his manifesto. It's only been a day, just a day since Hawke had watched the Chantry blow up, had killed Meredith and Orsino. Had killed Anders. Hadn't been able to find his body in the aftermath so he could give Anders some sort of funeral rites.

"He was a good friend to all of us." At Fenris's snort, Hawke reaches a hand out and entwines their fingers. "Admit it, he was a good friend to you, too."

"He was a mage."

For just a moment, annoyance twists inside Hawke, makes him want to yell at Fenris. Hawke's already lost Anders; he can't stand to lose Fenris, too, so he buries it deep.

"As am I. When I die, will you refuse to admit that you care for me because I'm a mage?" Hawke refuses to let go of Fenris's hand as Fenris tugs at it.

"Of course I won't but you are the exception. You must know that." Fenris sits on his lap, facing him with his legs splayed wide and straddling Hawke's hips. "I did not care for him as I care for you. You are unique."

"Admit it. He was a friend." Hawke reaches up and cups Fenris's chin, sliding his hand along Fenris's cheek until his fingertips tease at the hair above Fenris's ear.

"His demon would not allow friendship." Fenris leans in, kissing him, lips light and comforting more than sexual. "You were right to end his torment."

"For a while, after you left me, I…" Hawke can't put his thoughts and feelings into words. Grief and guilt are too fresh for that. The memory of the kiss he'd shared with Anders in the clinic remains vibrantly fresh but he can still feel the knife in his hand as it made contact with Anders, the way that it had felt sinking into Anders's flesh, the way that his hand had felt like a separate being, as if his heart had been screaming at the rest of him, the logical side of him, as he'd killed Anders. That he hadn't even been able to find Anders afterwards so he could prepare the body, give him the rites that would be denied to him elsewise, only adds to that grief and guilt, threatening to swamp him and sour everything around him.

"I know. Before the demon took over, he was a different man. I could see the attraction." Fenris's kiss turns possessive and hungry, sweeping Hawke along for the ride away from the worries that wait just outside his front door. Grinding down on him, Fenris continues his hungry motions, hands holding Hawke's face in place as they ravage one another's mouth.

"Not that I don't appreciate where this is going, because I do, trust me on that," Hawke pauses to thrust up into Fenris, feeling their erections rub against one another, "but where did this come from suddenly?"

"You are a wonder." Fenris shakes his head at Hawke. "I am sorry that you had to kill him but I am glad that he is dead and I'm even more glad that you are still here. I would like to show you just how very glad I am."

"Does this exhibition of glee involve less clothing?" Hawke pointedly ignores Fenris being happy that Anders is gone.

"Perhaps." After standing, Fenris tugs his gloves off. "Is that few enough?"

"You definitely need less."

As Fenris starts to unbuckle his armor, a furious pounding on the front door erupts. In a flash, Fenris has his armor fastened once more, his gloves on, sword out and is sprinting for the door.

"Hawke!" Aveline's voice carries through the thick wood. After Hawke opens the door, Aveline slips in and then slams it shut, barring it quickly. "You have to pack and go."

"I had no idea you disliked me so much." Regardless of his flirtatious tone, Hawke gestures for Fenris to watch the door while he brings Aveline further into the house.

"Knight Commander Cullen is doing his best to keep the Templars under control but some of Meredith's followers formed a mob and are on their way. You have to go before they get here. Hurry, Hawke."

"I'll talk to the crowd, get them to disperse."

"The guards are on their way but you and I both know that this isn't going to be the last time you'll face this threat. Please, Hawke. I can't protect you here for much longer."

"Have you found Anders's body yet?"

"He's gone. There were so many lost, we'll never be able to find him. You know it."

"Just a few more days, Aveline. I owe it to him."

"The things you con me into doing for you. Someday, I will say no." Aveline shakes her head and then heads out the door.

"No, you won't!" he shouts after her.

Fenris secures the door. "She's right, Hawke. We must leave Kirkwall."

"A few more days. He deserves that much."

"For you, not for him." Fenris cups his face once more, pressing their lips together before he heads upstairs to guard Hawke's back as he waits for the mob to approach.

Cullen's men show before the guards and the mob. The mob's much larger than Hawke had expected. Cullen does his best to keep them from entering the estate. Still, he's not about to be protected by Aveline let alone the Templars so he steps out of the house. The mob roars, stepping forward while a few of the Templars shout obscenities and encourage the crowd to try to kill him.

"Stop!" he shouts at the crowd. "I understand your confusion and your fear but this will not help matters. Be calm!"

The crowd quiets a bit though the inciting Templars continue shouting. Cullen wades into the crowd, grabbing at bodies and cuffing heads.

"Too long, Meredith ruled with an iron fist. It is time for a change. Give Knight Commander Cullen time. Give the Captain of the Guard time. Things will never happen instantly. You must be patient."

The guards arrive and the more fearful of the crowd disperse immediately. "Away from here! This will do no good!" Aveline yells from the head of the line of guards. More of the crowd disperses while Cullen and his supporters continue to wrangle Meredith's supporters out of the crowd.

The inciting Templars, eventually, are on the ground, cuffed and silenced. All in all, it takes less than five minutes to get the crowd to disperse. Cullen nods at Hawke and then the Templars take their own back to the Gallows. It seems too easy.

Fenris appears at his side, his metal-clad fingertips brushing the back of Hawke's hand as he steps in front of Hawke.

Taking a deep breath, Hawke lets it go, lets it all go. Aveline is right; his presence will only make this worse. When Fenris turns, Hawke shakes his head, takes another breath, lets it out and then says, "Get the others. We'll leave on the next tide. Talk to Isabela for me? I need time."

"Of course."

Fenris stalks out of the house, leaving Hawke to wander to the library and grab the hidden copy of Anders's manifesto that he'd kept as a lark. He should've known how this would turn out just by the mere fact that Anders had written a manifesto. A _manifesto_. Sane people didn't write manifestos. Rational people didn't write manifestos. Insane, innocents-killing, Chantry-blowing-up possessed people wrote manifestos. Still, Hawke can't keep himself from tracing Anders's handwriting, the loops and curls on the front and the way that Anders had embellished Hawke's name.

One last look for Anders and he'll stop this need to give Anders his last rites. He'd been a fool to leave Anders there, like a tattered doll in the dust. What Fenris and the rest don't know won't hurt them, he decides, as he heads out of the house and to the site. Sitting on the same crate, he faces the direction that Anders had before Hawke had sunk his blade into Anders's back. He wonders what Anders had seen as he'd lain on the ground, bleeding to death. Anders's bloodstain is still there. Kneeling on the ground, he rests his fingers on the blood stain and whispers, "I'm so sorry that it ended this way, my friend."

He takes one last look around, trying his best to memorize the area because he's never coming back to Kirkwall again. As he pushes off the ground, he startles and then barks out a discouraged, bitter laugh. "Of course the only cat I see in all of Kirkwall is dead, right where Anders died. That's irony for you."

  


  
Merrill: You could get another cat, you know. There's one in the Lowtown market with a litter of kittens ready to wean.  
Anders: You don't pay attention to templars, Qunari or politics, but you notice kittens?  
Merrill: Templars, Qunari, and politics don't meow and attack your feet when you're buying food.  
Anders: Are there any tabbies? I'd like a tabby.    


Anders waves at Zevran as he walks past, clearly on his way to the Warden-Commander. That's a relationship he'll never understand. The pair of them bicker and flirt and argue and flirt more. Zevran spends more time outside of Amaranthine than he does inside, spends more time outside of the Warden-Commander's presence than he does in it and, yet, the pair of them are fully devoted to one another. Maker knows that Anders had made a play, for both of them, either together or separately, and they'd shot him down. They'd have to be devoted to one another to turn him - _oomph_.

A fist connects with his face once more as he's thrust back against the stone wall. People are yelling but the pummeling continues. Through the blood dripping into his eye, he sees a man that he's never seen before and then he doesn't see anything else.

When he wakes, he's in the infirmary and the Warden-Commander sits next to his bed. "I hope you killed the darkspawn horde that attacked me. It had to have been an entire brood."

"It was one Warden recruit. One very irate and very punished Warden recruit." The Warden-Commander hands him a glass of water which he gulps down as quickly as he can.

"Surely not just one recruit. My ego won't be able to take it."

"Your ego is going to have to. It was one new recruit who happens to be the brother of the Champion of Kirkwall."

"Kirkwall? But I don't know anyone there." The Warden-Commander raises his eyebrow and Anders wants to set fire to it, just enough to singe all the hair off his face, not that he has much but the eyebrow, at the very least, has to go. "Oh, right. Someone parading about as me blew up the Chantry. Did the Champion of Kirkwall die?"

"No, he killed you."

"That wasn't very nice of him."

"You're taking the news of your death very well."

"Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm still alive."

"A fact that Carver finds hard to believe. It seems that you've been tending the ill in the dark recesses of Kirkwall for years before you lost it and blew up the Chantry. According to Carver, you were possessed."

Anders snorts in disbelief. "Not only am I dead but now I'm a dead Abomination? This is quickly becoming slanderous."

"Remember Justice?" At Anders's nod, the Warden-Commander continues, "Turns out that he found a host, one that looked a lot like you. Knew everything about you, from kissing Karl to your horrible sense of humor and timing."

Anders pales. "Karl?"

"Who was he?"

"You had to remember him from the Circle. Older gentleman?" The Warden-Commander gives him a blank stare. "Helped me escape a few times. Had the previous record for most escape attempts?"

"The bedsheets."

"Yes!" Anders crows with delight and then his grin fades. "But I never told anyone about Karl. Not anyone here."

"You have a twin?"

"No. Always wanted one, though."

"Who knew about Karl?"

"Just Karl and Ser Pounce-a-Lot."

"You told your cat."

The Warden-Commander raises an eyebrow at him, making Anders instantly defensive. "What?"

"A cat."

"Well, yes. He was a very good listener in addition to his amazing fighting skills. We had very long conversations about everything. Those are just a few of the reasons why I've been pointing out what a travesty it is that someone took Ser Pounce-a-Lot."

"No one else?"

"Well, First Enchanter Irving knows about him. Uldred did too but considering he's dead, long before you gave me Ser Pounce-a-Lot, I doubt that it was him that took my cat and/or impersonated me in Kirkwall."

"Alish," Zevran says, interrupting them as he steps out of the shadows. Anders hates when he does that, makes him think that Zevran's just waiting for the opportunity to kill him.

"Yes, love?" The Warden-Commander's face goes soft as he watches Zevran strolls across the room. Anders doesn't quite get it but he still envies it.

"The Keep is secured and the little Hawkeling is waiting for you in your office."

"Come, Anders." The Warden-Commander stands and gestures at Anders, as if he isn't currently resting in a sickbed, recovering from repeated blows to his head given with mail-covered hands.

"A generous offer but I think I'll stay here and recover."

"It wasn't a request." Anders hates that tone, not just because of the real authority behind it but also because of the way that he feels like his father just chastised him for stealing a cookie out of the jar.

"Right, of course it wasn't. I was just confirming that." Anders sits, swings his legs over the edge of the bed and then amazes himself by actually being able to stand up. "Do you think he knows the location of my cat?"

"Anders."

"What?" Anders affects his best innocent tone, going so far as to bat his eyes at the back of the Warden-Commander's head. Zevran chuckles at him and then swings an arm around the Warden-Commander's waist.

Merrill: Ser Pounce-a-lot... who knighted him?  
Anders: Is that a serious question?  
Merrill: Did he have a little sword, or just his claws? I bet he had a dashing cap with a feather in it!  
Anders: Would you stop making fun of my cat?  
Merrill: Oh... no hat, then? 

Here, alone in his cabin, Hawke starts to come to terms with what's happened. The Anders that he'd killed hadn't been the one that he'd cared for, the one that he'd been friends with. The one that he'd killed had been a monster that had slaughtered countless innocents all while starting a war that's ripping the entire world apart.

The fact that he's going back to Ferelden the way he left – poor and a refugee – doesn't escape him. At least then, he'd had his family with him. This trip, he's not even sure that Carver will be able to shelter them as the group of them gets their bearings. It's not like Carver ever had much affection for any of them, Hawke included. Besides, the Wardens might not want to shelter two Apostates, one of whom is a blood mage, a shifty dwarf and a lyrium-imbued warrior with a temper issue. Add in that Hawke just so happened to have killed another of the Wardens and, well, Hawke figures their chances are infinitesimal at best and nil at worst.

  


  
Anders: But have you never studied the types of demons? They break down very clearly into different sins—  
Merrill: Spirits differ from each other, just as you and Hawke and Isabela are all human.  
Merrill: More or less...   


Silly that such an innocuous thing such as walking around a corner could possibly ever change his life. As it is, Hawke is casually walking along the hallway, listening to Merrill and Fenris bicker while Varric interjects random asides while they make their way to the Warden-Commander to offer their services when Hawke runs, quite literally, into the man he'd killed less than a month ago.

"Pardon me. I've a horrible penchant for not looking where I'm going though, honestly, you could probably do with looking, as well," Anders says as he recaptures his balance.

"You…" Hawke breathes out.

"You!" Fenris shouts and shoves Hawke out of the way, pulling his sword and threatening Anders.

"That's a neat trick. However did you do it?" Merrill asks as she catches Hawke before he collapses onto the floor in a reaction to the combination of being shoved and _Anders_.

Anders.

 _Anders_.

Anders who is breathing and living and standing right in front of him.

"Isn't that a bit of an overreaction?" Anders says as he backs away from Fenris. "It's not like I ran into him on purpose. In point of fact, he ran into me so maybe you should point your abnormally large sword at him rather than me. It's just a suggestion, of course, but – "

"Shut your mouth before you find yourself dead. Again." Fenris thrusts the sword closer to Anders's throat and Hawke puts a hand on his shoulder.

"There are answers to be had, I'm certain," Hawke says, attempting to sooth Fenris into leaving Anders alive. _Alive_.

"He will provide them. Now."

Anders takes another step back and his back hits the stone. Fenris's sword presses into Anders's throat. Hawke steps forward and molds his body against Fenris's back, stretching an arm around Fenris to push the sword away from Anders. "Not now."

"I will beat the answers out of him."

"You can try." A new voice interrupts them. Hawke points his staff as the rest of the party takes different defensive positions.

"A misunderstanding. This man looks like – " Hawke tries to appease the enraged elf in front of him. For a moment, his brain flashes onto the thought that he spends too much of his time appeasing angry elves.

"Anders." The elf glares at him and holds his staff at the ready while men line up behind him, including Zevran, the Crow Assassin that Hawke remembers running into.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, you, too, Blondie, I'm sure there are explanations that can be provided. Perhaps somewhere we can also get food? A keg of ale? Possibly chairs that don't sway with the sea?" Hawke can feel the tension in Fenris increasing, something Hawke hadn't been sure could happen.

"Please, Fenris, we'll get our answers without risking our lives further. Let Anders go," Hawke whispers into Fenris's ears. Over Fenris's shoulder, Hawke can see the way that Anders searches all the faces, cataloging friend and foe, while trying to figure out a path to get him out of danger.

"For you." Fenris lowers his sword, letting Hawke see the spot of blood on Anders's neck. Fenris leans towards Anders and says, in a low voice, "You cause him any more pain and you will have it revisited on you threefold."

"Considering I barely ran into him, I doubt that your reaction was in keeping with that promise." Anders reaches up and wipes the blood on his neck, making it smear across his throat.

"You know what I'm talking about, _mage_."

"Not the time or the place," Hawke whispers once more. "Calm, Fenris."

"I would rip your heart out."

"It is a most amazing trick but I do not suggest you use it. Alish is rather protective of Anders and would not be happy. And, well, when he is not happy, I must do what I can to make him thus. You understand, I'm certain." Zevran's tone is charming, he even sketches a bow, but Hawke knows that he won't hesitate to put promise to action.

"We apologize for our actions. It is just that this man resembles a… that is…"

"Yes, I'm aware. Zevran has brought me up to speed as much as he knows. Into my office and we'll work through this just as we must work to protect the Grey Wardens from the encroaching war that seems to have erupted." The elf turns on a heel and marches down the hall.

Anders remains against the wall and Hawke pulls Fenris back. "After you."

"Am I wearing my stupid face? Perhaps I had some stupid sprinkled on my breakfast this morning rather unwittingly. No, serrah, after all of you." Anders bows and gestures down the hall. Hawke's heart twists at the biting wit that he hasn't heard in years. This Anders resembles the Anders he'd first met in the clinic in Darktown, before Justice had taken him over.

"We're not getting those answers standing here in this hallway," Varric says, striding forward after Zevran and the other elf.

"It's nice that you're not dead, Anders," Merrill says quickly, darting a look between Fenris and Anders and then scampering after Varric.

"Um, thanks?" Anders says after her but not taking his eyes off Hawke and Fenris.

Hawke guides Fenris along the hallway, half a step behind Fenris so that, just in case Fenris turns on Anders, Hawke might have enough time to get a barrier of some sort between them.

"You, on that side of the room, if you don't mind or even if you do," the elf says as they walk into the office. "Anders, the other side of the room, please."

"That isn't going to stop me," Fenris says, lyrium tattoos glowing white. "Mages or no."

"Stop it, Fenris!" Hawke shouts, finally losing his temper. "For the Maker's sake! Stop now. I want answers."

Fenris glares at Hawke and slides into a chair.

"I'm Alish, the Warden-Commander of Amaranthine. I've been led to believe you know the others." Alish gestures towards Zevran and Anders.

"Alleyn Hawke. This is Varric, Merrill and Fenris."

"Hawke? You related to Carver?" Anders asks and the question reminds Hawke that he doesn't know this Anders and that he's entered some sort of crazy world where Anders died with his knife in his back in addition to being alive right now.

"He's my brother."

"Interesting fellow. I see the familial resemblance; punch first and ask questions second." Anders's sarcasm has been missed. When Fenris snarls behind him, Hawke raises a hand to silence him.

"Tell me, Messere Hawke, what happened in Kirkwall."

So Hawke does. He tells the Warden-Commander about meeting Anders, losing his brother, the fighting and the stress. He tells the Warden-Commander about Meredith and Orsino, about the kindness of Grand Cleric Elthina, the promise he made to the King Alistair, and about the horror of the Chantry blowing up. He can't bear to look at Anders as he recounts that, can't bear to look at Anders as he tells the Warden-Commander about the death and destruction and the way that he'd fought to bring peace and, in the end, had ended up killing Orsino and Meredith. He even mentions the appreciation he has for Zevran's assistance.

It takes hours to recount what happened. When a glass of ale appears at his hand, he takes it without comment, doesn't even see who places it beside him. Instead, he watches the Warden-Commander to see if he reacts to any of it.

At the end of his recitation, calm and methodical as he so rarely is, Alish merely nods, as if he'd known all of it and Hawke's story matches the one he'd heard previously. "We've prepared rooms for you. Your brother is eager to see you."

"Carver? Eager to see me? I doubt it." The dismissal is clear.

"And how did this one come to live?" Fenris says, ignoring the dismissal.

"This one has a name," Anders says. "But since you'll be incapable of pronouncing it, you can call me 'Anders'."

"I'll call you dead, _abomination_."

"Whomever was in Kirkwall wasn't me and I certainly didn't agree to become an abomination. I wouldn't do that."

"But you did. You glowed blue and everything. It was a very pretty blue," Merrill says. Hawke had partially forgotten that she was still in the room, she'd been so quiet.

"It was all very dramatic and romantic, really, Blondie. You'd think you'd remember glowing and blowing up the Chantry."

"Except that it wasn't me and I turned Justice down, multiple times, I'll have you know."

"It was you."

"Wasn't."

"Was."

"This isn't helping any of us." Hawke interrupts and then looks to Alish. "The rooms would be greatly appreciated. The journey was rough."

"I will show them, love," Zevran says, standing and heading towards the door.

As they walk along, Zevran maneuvers them until Hawke and Zevran are walking further ahead than the rest. "I would control Fenris. Alish is quite attached to Anders for some reason. He will not respond well to Anders dying, especially at your hands once more."

"I will do my best. Fenris is his own man."

"Of course he is but he is also a man in love. Men in love will do many things to keep their loved ones happy."

"Then I'm glad that I turned down your proposition."

"As I knew you would." Zevran winks at him.

  


  
Anders: Why do spirits seek out mages? I've always wondered.  
Justice: You speak of demons. I am not a demon.  
Anders: Aren't demons simply spirits with unique and sparkling personalities?  
Justice: They have been perverted by their desires.  
Anders: But what do they want from mages?  
Justice: Perhaps they wish the same as I: silence.   


Anders finds himself thrust against a wall for the third time in as many days. There are bruises on top of his bruises and he finds that he's not willing to passively take it any longer. As Fenris pushes against him, Anders charges his fingers and touches Fenris, sending him flying backwards. Quickly recovering, Fenris charges at him with amazing speed but he gets his staff up in time and then paralyzes him. "I don't appreciate the way that you're trampling on the Warden-Commander's hospitality."

Fenris struggles against the bonds. A smart man would take the opportunity to flee but Anders has never been accused of being smart. Smart-mouthed, yes, but never smart. He continues to speak, "I'm not whoever it was that claimed to be me in Kirkwall. I've never been there and I never wanted to visit. I can't say that I disagree with the end result of what my doppelganger did but I wouldn't have done it that way. So I'm going to kindly ask that you cease attempting to kill me. If you want to speak to me, you can simply ask me to sit with you at a meal. Perhaps play some Diamondback?"

"You weren't good at Diamondback."

"Never have been but I still enjoy it." Fenris breaks through the paralysis and Anders braces but Fenris stays his hand. Pressing his luck, Anders grins and adds, "We could make it strip Diamondback."

"You are hopeless." Fenris shakes his head and walks back towards the rooms that the Kirkwall group were assigned.

"You don't want to see me naked?" Anders calls out behind him and laughs at the gesture Fenris tosses as he stalks away.

"You're playing with fire on that one," Varric says from the shadows. "You're either the bravest mage I've ever met or the stupidest one."

"What about both?"

"Look, Blondie, there're things you should know. You got somewhere we can sit and I can tell you some stories? Maybe over a drink and some diamondback?"

"I'm not stripping for you."

"I've seen plenty of your naked ass as it is, I don't need to see more."

"Not my naked ass."

"One that supposedly looked like yours." Varric starts sauntering towards the common area.

Anders hurries after him. "My ass is lovely. You'd be honored to see it. There have been sonnets written in honor of my ass."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

They find a table, off to the side and slightly out of sight of the rest of the sparse inhabitants. The ale appears, Varric pulls the necessary supplies for Diamondback out of his pockets and they start playing. Varric doesn't say anything at first and the silence starts getting to Anders. "So why don't you have a beard?"

"Not every dwarf has a beard." Varric wins the hand and then another is dealt.

"I thought maybe it fell onto your chest." Anders gestures towards where Varric's shirt lays unbuttoned almost to his navel, copious amounts of chest hair jutting out of it proudly. It'd be fascinating if it wasn't appalling and interesting, all at the same time.

"Not the first time I've heard that line. I'm disappointed in you."

"What else should I know other than that my doppelganger has almost as nice an ass as mine?" Anders cocks an eyebrow and grins, trying his best to look innocent.

"Hardest thing Hawke ever did in his life was kill you."

"He killed me? I thought I died in the battle!" The entire conversation seems surreal, that they're sitting there playing Diamondback and talking about the way that he died. He's not at all certain how he feels about the idea that someone that was supposedly his friend had killed him. Not that it was him but still, the point stands.

"You'd just blown up thousands of innocents, the Grand Cleric, started a war and endangered Kirkwall to invasion from Starkhaven."

"So?"

"You used Hawke to do it all. You knew he loved you and you used it to get what you wanted. You're lucky that all he did was kill you."

"He loved me?" Somehow that makes it both better and worse. Even worse that someone that loved him had killed him but better because someone like Hawke had cared about him. "But he and Fenris…"

"You loved him, in your own way and he loved you. Actually, Hawke was torn between you two. Romance to rival the ages but when he realized that you loved your hatred more than him, well, you see how devoted Fenris is to him."

"So Fenris stole him from me?"

"Fenris didn't steal a thing. He went willingly and you allowed it. I think you knew that you couldn't love him as much as Fenris does."

"Tell me I at least got a kiss out of it."

"You did at that. It was all very romantic. You had a few lines in you. Bet you still do."

"Dammit!" He's lost five hands in a row, probably because of the way that Varric's distracted him.

"Good thing we're not playing strip Diamondback."

"Strip Diamondback? I'm in." Hawke says as he slides onto the bench next to Varric.

"Are we playing strip Diamondback? That will be fun." Merrill slides in next to Anders.

"Do you know how to play?" Anders asks. Merrill strikes him as far too innocent to be able to play the game successfully. He'll be seeing her in her smallclothes all too soon. At least he wouldn't be the first to be naked but it seems wrong to take advantage of Merrill's innocence. Besides, it would be like having his sister strip in front of him. Shuddering at the thought, he almost misses the glances between the three. He gets the feeling he's been set up.

Which is proven all too quickly as he loses his clothes faster than anyone else. Holding the bundle of clothes in front of him, bare ass hanging in the back, he saunters out of the hall with a casual grace that he isn't feeling. Hawke's only lost his shirt, dammit, and bared a mighty fine chest. Merrill's fully clothed and so is Varric. It's embarrassing but that doesn't stop him from holding his head up high as his fellow Wardens call out insults.

"Wait up," Hawke calls out. "I would walk with you."

"Just let me get dressed." He ducks into the first available room and pulls his clothes back on. "There, better."

"I thought the other view was better." Hawke winks at him and Anders wonders, once again, just why Fate hates him. Fate's put a beautiful man in front of him and then given him to another. Anders is no poacher, much as the temptation is there in front of him.

"Yes, well." He's at a loss for words, one of the few times that's ever happened to him.

"So you kissed the other me?" Anders asks as they stroll through the Keep.

"I did."

"And was the fake me a good kisser?"

"Very."

"So why didn't you go further? I'm rather charming and I would hope that my doppelganger would be, as well."

"You were writing a manifesto." Hawke says as if that's the answer to everything.

"A manifesto?" Anders gapes. "But I hate writing letters let alone books!"

"It was the largest book in my library. You were quite full of opinions on the treatment of mage-kind. Well, either you or Justice. Perhaps both."

Anders slips into silence, unsure of how to respond to this. Hawke clearly had a deep friendship with the other him and, just as obviously, was still mourning his death. He's unreasonably jealous of the other Anders. The other Anders might've been insane enough to write a manifesto but he'd known Hawke well and, more, had touched lips together, had felt one another intimately. Anders wants to know Hawke just as intimately.

Then Fenris steps out from behind a statue and entwines his fingers with Hawke's. Well, if Hawke wouldn't be with Anders, at least he'd picked an attractive, if deadly and intimidating, replacement.

"Years of escaping from the Circle, I'm certain."

"Yes, we've heard all about that."

"What I don't get is that whomever was impersonating me, why they would do that."

"Who would know everything that Justice had known?"

"There isn't anyone."

"There had to have been someone. Someone that knew intimate details about you and was close enough that Justice could proposition them and convince them."

"Just my cat."

"Your cat." Fenris sneers at him.

"Ser Pounce-a-Lot was a brilliant listener."

"I'm certain he was," Hawke says and it's obvious that he's placating the pair of them and, just as obvious, that he's being sarcastic about doing so. Anders feels himself tumbling out of lust and into caring for the man.

"Well, I doubt it was my cat that impersonated me. I would think you would've noticed the tail, at the least."

"I have seen the evil and twisted things that magic can do. I am not so certain."

"He was a cat." Anders states it as if Fenris had just supposed that the sky and the ground had switched places.

"I do not ever doubt the evil of magic."

"Magic is not evil. People are evil."

"I just got through six years of listening to this debate. I'm not having it start again." Hawke tugs at Fenris towards the interior of the Keep again. Hawke looks to Anders and asks, "Perhaps we could talk later?"

"Of course. I am at your disposal." He only wishes it was for more than conversation.

"Until later, then."  


  
  
  
  
  
Anders watches them walk away and, masochistically, he follows at a distance, long enough to see Hawke pin Fenris against a statue and kiss him like Fenris is the only thing in the world that he cares about at that moment. He watches as Hawke frames Fenris's face and smiles at him, secretive and shared between them, before brushing his face once, twice, three times across Fenris's. Their noses touch and then Fenris's hands come around Hawke's waist, pulling him in close as that smile is echoed back to Hawke. It's the first time he's ever seen Fenris with anything other than the perpetual sneer on his face. Fenris had been handsome before, even with that sneer, but he's stunningly beautiful when he smiles.

Envy sweeps over him and he turns on his heel, heading back into the Keep to find out when they war is coming to Amaranthine and what he can do to help the mages.  


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	2. Chapter 2

Hawke loves these moments with Fenris, loves the way that Fenris softens, just a hint, under Hawke's hands and mouth. He cherishes them because it's so rare that Fenris allows this sort of treatment outside of the bedroom, where anyone can chance upon them and see that softness.

"You have nothing to fear from him," Hawke says as he swipes his lips across Fenris's, brushing their noses back and forth. "It is you I love."

Fenris smiles back at him, arms coming around him and pulling him in close. "You love him, as well. Or you will, once you see that he is the same as you fell in love with but you are an honorable man, Hawke, and you will not stray even if it tears you apart."

"You with your doubts. Do not doubt that I love you." Hawke presses closer, until they're aligned chest to leg, and then kisses him once more. This time, he lines their mouths up and thrusts his tongue into Fenris's mouth. Moaning into the mouth that he's gotten to know as well as his own, Hawke traces along the lines of lyrium on Fenris's neck. Breaking the kiss slightly, he licks along the lines that he's just traced, across Fenris's chin and then further down until the lines are buried by the armor. Taking half a step back, he pulls Fenris's arm away from his hip and then traces his inner arm, along his elbow and down until those, too, are hidden from his questing tongue. He repeats with the other arm then steps closer and kisses Fenris once more, tongue touching tongue.

"You are a cruel man to tease me so when there is no where for you to finish what you've started," Fenris breathes into his neck, tongue darting out to trace along Hawke's neck.

"Then let us retreat to where I can prove my true cruelty."

 

Justice: You have seen oppression and are now free. You must act to free those who remain oppressed.  
Anders: Or I could mind my business, in case the Chantry comes knocking.  
Justice: But this is not right. You have an obligation.  
Anders: Yes, well... welcome to the world, spirit.

They all head out on a patrol. Hawke's aware that he has to earn the space in the barracks that he's taking up. It gives him time to walk with Carver, see the way that Carver seems to fit in his skin a bit better than he ever did in Ferelden or Kirkwall. He only wishes that he could figure out a way to say that to Carver without Carver blowing up at him, putting them right back into the confrontational relationship they've had for too many years.

Speaking of fitting well in his skin, Hawke can't get over the way that this Anders resembles that first Anders, the one that he'd fell in love with, so much. Anders seems happy, jovial and free here unlike the bitter shell that Hawke had killed in Kirkwall. There's guilt there and not just for killing him. That guilt shifts his focus to Fenris, where Fenris walks at his side, hand on his sword and ready at a moment's notice.

It's Anders that warns them that danger is coming as he holds up a hand. Varric sighs, pulling out Bianca. Hawke steps back, behind Fenris, giving in on this need of Fenris's to protect him, as he steadies himself for the upcoming battle.

The darkspawn are on them in a matter of moments. Fenris rushes about, glowing and dangerously beautiful in battle while Carver plows through the enemies. Hawke will never understand why Varric insists on singing to Bianca but he doesn't really care because it's effective. Almost as effective as when Fenris grabs one of the last Hurlocks, thrusts his glowing fist into the Hurlock's chest and then hefts him into the air before throwing it across the cavern, dripping heart in his hand. Hawke figures there's something wrong with him (something he isn't willing to fix, though) because Fenris's heart-ripping will never _not_ turn him on. When he looks over to Anders, he sees the way that Anders stares at Fenris as Fenris drops the heart and then wipes the blood off his hand and arm.

 

Fenris: Do you see yourself as harmless, then? An abomination who would never harm someone?  
Anders: Like ripping someone's heart out of his chest?  
Fenris: I did that at the behest of no demon.  
Anders: So we agree that it doesn't take a demon for someone to be a vicious killer? Good.

Anders finds himself alone with Fenris. It's not a state of affairs that makes him confident as to his abilities to leave the room in one piece let alone alive. His fingers grip and relax and grip once more on his staff. Anders has seen Fenris in battle and he knows damned well that he doesn't stand a chance if Fenris decides to make good on his promise to kill him, not if Fenris chooses to do that super-speed trick of his. He's seen the way that Fenris sticks his hand in an enemy's chest and yanks out his heart before the enemy even knows it's coming.

"Hawke does not know that I am here." The words send a shiver of fear down Anders's spine.

"And?"

"I do not think he would approve of what I intend."

"Then you should probably not do it. Hawke's a formidable man. I wouldn't want to upset him."

"This is worth the risk. His happiness is more important to me than anything else. My own pride included." Fenris stalks across the room towards Anders. Anders points his staff in Fenris's direction as he circles away from Fenris. He's got a sofa between the two of them when Fenris merely steps onto it and then over it, pressing Anders against a wall. At least this time, there's no sword at his neck, he thinks in borderline fear and hysteria. Anders charges his fingers with lightning and then presses them against Fenris, sending shockwaves through his body as Fenris leans in towards him.

Anders braces for the dagger that Fenris surely has sliding towards his chest. What he doesn't brace for is the feel of Fenris's lips on his own. Opening his mouth to cry out in surprise, Fenris takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Anders's mouth, touching tongue to tongue and possessing his mouth. Fenris's hands slide into his hair, holding him captive as they kiss. Surprise had held him still but the lust twisting in his gut makes him move, his hands sliding from shoving against Fenris to pulling him closer. His right leg comes off the ground and slides around Fenris's left, foot slipping between Fenris's legs and trying to bring them even closer.

Frotting against the hard cock he can feel under all that armor, Anders moans, breaking the kiss to get a breath while Fenris lips along his jawline, down over his neck to bite at the protrusion at the front of his neck.

"Please," he pants out, all thoughts slipping out of his head other than more of Fenris's mouth on his body, Fenris's hands tugging his hair and forcing his head sideways to bare more of his neck to Fenris's teeth. "Please, more."

Just as quickly as it started, it stops. Fenris steps away from him, wiping his fingertips across his mouth and then stalks out of the room.

 _What in the Maker's name just happened?_ Anders places his own fingertips against his lips, feeling the way that they've already swelled and started to bruise. His cock is so hard that he doesn't think there's any blood anywhere else in his body and all because of one, murderous and unpredictable elf with a boyfriend that Anders wants, rather desperately.

 

Anders: I'm just wondering how your master didn't kill you.  
Fenris: How have the templars not killed you?  
Anders: I'm charming.

Hawke grins at Fenris as Fenris stalks into the room, puts his hands on Hawke's shoulders and then shoves him into the wall, pressing them as close as can be while his hands grip Hawke's wrists and pin him to the wall. "What brought this on?"

"When you kissed Anders, what did you feel?" Fenris asks, lips formed into a snarl while he thrusts his hips against Hawke's.

"Fenris, what – "

"Answer the question, Hawke."

"Heat, warmth, friendship, want, need, desire, love."

"What do you feel when you kiss me?"

"The same."

"The exact same?" Fenris's teeth find Hawke's jugular and bite down. Hawke can't help the moan that breaks out of his throat, surging into the air with the same speed that his cock rises.

"No. It was gentler than what I feel for you. Passionate but gentler."

"You do not feel gentle with me?"

"You're a fire in my blood, Fenris. You're a roaring waterfall, sweeping over me. Anders was more of a bubbling brook, laughter and playfulness."

"Which do you prefer?"

"I picked you."

"Why?"

"Because your fire keeps me warm."

"And a bubbling brook would not soothe you? Laughter would not brighten your day?"

"Of course it would but I choose to have the inferno."

Fenris lets him go, stepping back, ending the passionate exchange as quickly as he'd started it. "And would you want both?"

"What?" Hawke gapes at him, completely at a loss for what the hell is going on.

"I tasted him."

"You what?" Hawke continues to gape.

"He tastes of the warmth of the sun on your face in the middle of winter. I can see why you were attracted to him. Why you _are_ attracted to him."

"Fenris, you kissed Anders?"

"Yes. I had to know what intrigues you. His taste is… not disagreeable." Fenris's fingers trace across his lips. Hawke steps forward and traces the same path with his own fingers.

"You are what I want," Hawke whispers against Fenris's lips.

"But he is what you need. You need soothing spring rain the same as you need fire. I would give that to you, let you have that." Fenris licks Hawke's lips and he opens his mouth, taking the kiss further, sucking Fenris's tongue into his mouth and caressing it with his own.

"Only if that is what you want," Hawke finally responds when the kiss ends. "I will not do this if you think only to give me a gift."

"I will never understand your selflessness." Fenris shakes his head and then cups Hawke's face, kissing him once more.

 

Fenris: Do not bare your heart to me, mage, unless you would have me rip it out.

It takes Hawke two days to find Anders. The Warden-Commander is the one that points out where Anders is hiding, something that Hawke will forever be grateful for as he sneaks into the small courtyard and watches Anders pace back and forth, clearly having a discussion with himself.

"Sometimes, the only intelligent discussion I get is the one that I have with myself," Hawke says, stepping out from behind the hedge.

"Hawke! You took a year off my life sneaking up like that." Anders darts a glance from one side to another. It's clear he's looking for an exit but Hawke's standing between him and the only doorway.

"You should see Varric sneak around. Now there's a talented man, err, dwarf." Hawke steps closer and grins when Anders takes an equivalent step backwards.

"Where's your deadly shadow?"

"Elsewhere." Hawke steps forward again and Anders steps back again. "What were you discussing with yourself?"

"I do not understand your deadly shadow. Do you know he…" Anders's voice trails off.

"He kissed you?"

"So he told you?" Hawke nods in response and grins even harder when Anders shakes his head at him. "And you're all right with that?"

"I trust him."

"You make no sense to me."

"Not the first time you've said that to me." Hawke steps forward quickly, so fast that Anders doesn't have a chance to do more than swallow quickly as Hawke grips his wrists with his hands. Hawke relishes the way that Anders's pulse races under his fingertips. "Come, the Warden-Commander needs to speak to us."

"And just what does Ser Warden-Commander need with us?"

"Let's go find out." Hawke squeezes his wrists and then turns, tugging Anders along behind him.

As he follows along, Anders goes with the flow, feeling like a small ship bobbing in the ocean as a giant wave sweeps it to the side. Hawke is a force of nature, one that he can well believe influenced so much change in Kirkwall to the point that the seething kettle of the Circles had boiled over in his presence. It draws Anders at the same time that it repeals him, makes him step back and wonder if he wants to get mixed up with this. It's not like there aren't plenty of other messes he could step into. Say, for example, the mess that Alish's giant Mabari hound leaves all over the place in the Keep. That might be slightly more enjoyable than mixing himself into the mess of Fenris and Hawke. Those two might smell better than a pile of dog shit but they're probably a lot harder to scrape off the bottom of his shoe.

His thoughts have carried him, hand-in-hand, with Hawke to the door of Alish's study. With a perfunctory knock, Hawke pushes his way into the study as if he owns the place. Alish only raises an eyebrow and then points towards the large table near the windows where a relief map has already been laid out.

"We've received updated information on the Templar approach." Alish steps up to the map and points.

"Rather stupid of them to attack the Wardens, isn't it?" Hawke says as he stares at the map, hand across his mouth and looking far too intelligent for Anders's wellbeing.

"Templars aren't known for their brains. They're more the slash-and-burn-on-orders sort."

Hawke huffs out a laugh and then flashes a smile at Anders, making his traitor knees weaken. "Point."

"Whether or not they have any brains, they are well-armed and they have plenty of bodies to throw at us." Of course the Templars would be willing to sacrifice so many people fighting a ridiculous fight against a neutral force because the Warden-Commander might have ended the Blight, killed an Archdemon and saved the world but he's still a mage, still an Apostate and still housing and safeguarding Apostates. Of course the Templars and Chantry would come here.

"What do you recommend we do?"

"I recommend you leave. They're here for you." At Hawke's glare, Alish holds up a hand and then continues, "I suggest you head to Weisshaupt. A direct assault on the Wardens, even this far from Weisshaupt means that the Templars will assault anywhere. The Wardens in Orlais need to know and the best person to get messengers out to every Warden Command is the First Warden."

"No one better to lead anyone through the Anders than a man from there." Anders surprises himself by volunteering. He hadn't planned it, hadn't even thought before the words were out of his mouth.

"Really?" Alish obviously echoes his surprise because he's doing the best impression of a carp out of water that Anders has ever seen. Considering that Anders, on his third, fifth and sixth escape, had spent plenty of time fishing in lakes, he's seen plenty of actual carp out of water, that's saying something.

"What?" he asks, tone and body language defensive as he crosses his arm and sticks out his hip.

"You're not exactly known for volunteering to leave the fortress."

"That's because most of our missions involve darkspawn."

"There'll be darkspawn along your way along with plenty of Templars and Chantry members out hunting you."

'They're not hunting me." Anders glares at Alish.

"Right, because you're dead," Hawke interjects. "I'd appreciate you along for the journey."

"Can't leave you alone along the journey," Carver says as he enters the room, startling Anders, as he crosses and clasps Hawke's arm.

"Neither am I. You are far too important to allow you to journey by yourself."

"Are we going on a journey? Maybe I should get some shoes, do you think I'll need shoes, Anders?"

"Bianca is always up for meeting new people and seeing new lands. Count us in."

"Who's Bianca?" Anders stares at Hawke's entourage and boggles at the way that they all just volunteered for a journey rife with danger that will last far too many weeks, weeks of camping out and fishing for carp.

"So, it's decided. You'll all go to Weisshaupt." Alish turns back towards the map. "You're dismissed."

 

Anders: (Past the old sign upon entering the Blackmarsh) "I'm scared. Hold me?"

Anders has enjoyed his time here at the fortress. It's never felt as confining as the Circle though Anders isn't certain that it's because of the friendship (something he'd had in the Circle but not in such large amounts) or if it's because of the constant escape possibilities (though, really, fighting the darkspawn menace isn't much of an escape).

What he won't miss is the way that he never knows who is going to be in his room because there aren't any locks on the door. It's an instinctual lunge back out the door when he sees Fenris calmly stroking his blade in Anders's favorite chair. The chuckle, deep and alluring to the side of the doorway, keeps him from going much further.

"Afraid he's going to spear you with his overly large sword?" Hawke asks as he stalks towards Anders.

"Compensating much?" Anders asks as he steps into the room and casually sidesteps so he's in a corner with his back protected and his staff leaning beside him. The protection inherent in the staff's proximity calms his heartbeat just enough to make him realize that his heart rate soars as Hawke steps closer again.

"He's not compensating." Hawke steps even closer and then whispers against Anders's earlobe, so close that his tongue touches Anders's skin, "And neither am I. We'd like you to find out."

"What?" Anders gasps, his voice going high-pitched.

"We'd like you to find out that Fenris's abnormally large sword isn't compensating for any shortcomings on either of our parts."

Hawke's hand reaches out and caresses Anders's face, palm cupping his cheek and making Anders feel like he'd be willing to do almost anything. It distracts him so much that Anders hadn't realized that Fenris crossed the room until Fenris's hand reaches over Hawke's shoulder to cup his other cheek.

"I would taste rain," Fenris says, adding to the maelstrom of crazy confusion swirling in Anders's head.

"You both want what?"

"We both want to taste you and we'd like you to taste us."

"Is this your idea of a joke?"

"No," Hawke says and then kisses him, sending all confusion flying under the rush of want and need that take over. Then there's a second mouth, a second tongue touching his lips and sending him right back into confusion. He makes to open his mouth to speak but all that accomplishes is two sets of tongues licking into his mouth and touching his own.

When they leave his mouth and lips, he lunges forward to recapture that fullness once more. There are hands all over his face and his neck, his chest and threading into his robes to tug him closer. When he can finally speak, all he can say is, "Please."

 

Nathaniel: You don't always wear robes, do you?  
Anders: Not when I'm naked I don't.

Hawke can't believe this is happening. Completely undreamt of, Hawke leans towards Anders as Fenris plasters himself to Hawke's back, fingertips reaching out to touch the face that he's known in a different incarnation. He feels the familiar-but-not skin under his fingertips as he traces along Anders's face, following the path of cheekbone, down the slope of his nose and then along his lips before following the jawline to his ears and then up along his eyebrows before going back down to his lips.

"Anders," he breathes out as he leans further, meeting Anders halfway so that lips touch lips hesitantly. Hawke can feel Fenris kissing his neck, hands teasing at Hawke's chest, pinching and rolling his nipples underneath the shirt he still wears. That touch of lips against lips makes him shudder as his hands delve further into Anders's hair. The hair loosens out of the tie that he's perpetually wearing, causing the hair to fall in a gentle wave to frame their faces. Hawke pulls back from the chaste kiss to play with that hair, pushing it away from his face only to let it fall once more.

It stuns him that he has the ability to do this, after everything. He has the two men that he loves touching him right now and that takes his breath away. Anders smiles at him, knowing and enigmatic all at the same time, before taking his lips once more, tongue tracing the seam of Hawke's lips. "Open up," Anders says against his lips and Hawke is helpless to resist the order. He opens up and that tongue darts into his mouth and Hawke is done. Taken. Overwhelmed.

Shuddering at the feel of tongue touching tongue while another tongue traces along the back of his shoulders and fingers tease and torment at his chest, Hawke's in sensory overload, his hands frozen in Anders's hair awhile he stands stiffly between them. Anders's hands press against Fenris's hands, flattening them against his chest where his heart races so fast that it's a wonder it hasn't exploded.

"Fenris," he pants out as he watches Fenris maneuver so that Anders is touching him and he's touching Anders while Hawke stands sandwiched between them. "Are you certain?"

"In this form, he is acceptable," Fenris murmurs against the back of his neck.

"Acceptable? I'll show you acceptable." Anders slides Hawke's face out of the way and then grasps the back of Fenris's neck, tugging him in to kiss him. It's one of the best sights Hawke has ever seen.

"That's more than acceptable." Hawke grins at the echoing smiles. He's a blessed man, a very blessed man with the most amazing love of his life in front of him who happens to be willing to play with the first man to capture Hawke's heart in Kirkwall.

"We should strive for more than acceptable. Perhaps fewer clothes would help?" Fenris says as he starts to open Anders's robes.

"I agree. Fewer clothes."

"Who am I to argue with logic like that?" Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they strip Anders.

"Then let's get on with it."

 

Nathaniel: How do the templars always find you, Anders?  
Anders: Incredibly angry, that's how they find me.

"You're not packing anything with feathers, are you?" Fenris asks as he traces circles on Anders's chest.

"I hadn't planned on it. Feathers look atrocious on me." Anders reaches over and does the same as Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they trace his skin with their entwined fingers.

"It wasn't one of your better looks."

"Yes, thanks. Good thing it wasn't actually me."

"A very good thing," Hawke whispers against the back of his neck.

"We leave at noon. It's time we gather our things and meet the others."

"Perhaps a bath is in order. We smell like sex."

"Very good sex."

"Wouldn't want to corrupt Merrill, would you?" Anders asks as he reaches his hand behind him and grabs on to Hawke's waist and pulls him in closer.

"I would prefer not to listen to Varric for the next fifty years."

"You make a fair point, Fenris." Hawke licks at Anders's neck again and then leans over him and kisses Fenris. "So, Weisshaupt, huh? How long will it take?"

"Depends on how many darkspawn hordes there are, how many Templar patrols we find, if there are any Chantry people about on our trip and, well, some of my folk aren't too hospitable towards mages, either."

"So just a few days then?"

"Whatever you say, Hawke." Anders shakes his head and wonders what he's getting himself into but he's certain he'll enjoy the journey.

 

Nathaniel: You seem rather attached to that cat, Anders.  
Anders: It's more that he is rather attached to me. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?  
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)  
Nathaniel: Isn't that name a little... ridiculous?  
Anders: What do you think I should call him? Frederick?  
Nathaniel: There are worse names, I suppose...

Cullen watches the chaos in the town below, the way that people cry out for justice from the misdeeds of his predecessor and his gut churns with all of it. He has to do something about this or else everything that Aveline and he keep trying to do mean nothing.

"I can help you with your quest for Justice."

The voice comes from behind him, beside him and in front of him. "Who are you?"

"I am Justice and I need a new partner."

"I saw what you did to Anders – "

He's interrupted by Justice. "It was never Anders. Anders would never have been able to accomplish what I was able to do with the help of a creature even more desiring of Justice. No one should keep another living creature for his or her own, miserable whims. No one should toy with another living being, as you know with the way that Meredith toyed with all of your Templars and all of the people of Kirkwall."

"You're right."

"Then consider my offer."

"I will think about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further acknowledgements of inspiration are considered spoilers: This fic is inspired by an offhand comment David Gaider made that, in response to the question "who took Anders's cat away?", was: _Nobody. Ser Pounce-a-lot was possessed by the spirit of Justice, and transformed his body to look like his former owner. Then one day he chased a mouse onto a ship and ended up in Kirkwall. It was the weirdest thing._ Yeah, I rolled with it.*


End file.
